Hire me, please

I have been looking for a new job for a long time and I desperately need to find something fast. I'm trying to get back into the healthcare field and there is nothing out there that is appealing to me. However, I am now at the point where I am willing to accept anything. My background is corporate wellness and fitness and also massage therapy. I would really like to find a wellness coordinator position, but they are so few and far between. Of course I'm also always open to accepting new massage clients. The economy is really putting a damper on the job outlook thing. I just keep telling myself that one of these days something is going to pop up and it's going to be fabulous!